Sexual Encounters Often Bring Shame

Promiscuity is common, so is the shame it brings. Disgrace weighs heavy on the shoulders of the ashamed. I know, because I was one such teenager, looking for connection, friendship, and belonging. I was timid and awkward. Often, my lack of wisdom led to being used, taken advantage of, and emotionally scarred. When young, I’m not sure we’re aware how deeply intimate sexual encounters really are and how violating they can ultimately feel.

God’s Holy Spirit offers powerful personal guidance. Though I’d felt His nudges giving me direction, I didn’t listen. I stepped into situations regularly where I felt darkness around me. God had full knowledge of what I’d experience if I continued on this path and the insecurity that’d overwhelm me for years to come. His alerts were clear. I chose to ignore Him.

God’s laws, His Biblical principles, and the nudging of His Holy Spirit are not given for us to fear Him or His punishment. Jesus took our sins away, those of us who accept His salvation. However, like a parent who loves greatly, He doesn’t want to see His children hurt. He offers guidance to help us avoid pain.

The enemy wants us to be crippled, emotionally defeated, and keepers of secrets. Robbed of peace, we live behind masks, trying to portray who we wish we were. Still, the shame tugs, penetrating our image, poking holes with whispers of worthlessness that tear us down further.

Give Up or Attack – Where Can Peace From Shame Be Found?

At some point, many of us break from this heavy weight. Depression, suicide, drug or alcohol dependencies become reality as we give up. Some of us lash out, demanding that we’re not the ones at fault for our suffering. Still, afraid and flailing, hoping peace will come with attack, it falls short. We fail to see where true peace comes from. The peace we hunger for, the deep cleansing breath of fresh air that liberates, can only come from God.

The enemy uses many sources to hurt us. Often its people; sometimes new friends or strangers. Frequently it’s those we’ve cared for. How do we reconcile the mixed feelings we struggle with when we’ve been used or abused? Before you choose to take action, seek God. Understand that your enemy, who may seem to be of flesh and blood, is really Satan. Your human adversary is a pawn in a much bigger picture. Fighting the mortal doesn’t win a battle, because this is a Spiritual fight. However, God is powerful! Get quiet with Him. Lay all your shame at His feet. Let Him take up arms on your behalf. Let Him fill and comfort you. He can lead you to freedom, however that looks. Be bold, trust Him, and be obedient to His direction.

Naked and Unashamed!

I’ve no shame now for the actions from my youth, my own or those which took place against me. Ever since God called me to Him and I’ve grown close to the One who loves me deeply and unconditionally, I’ve come to love myself. My insecurities were transformed. My anger dissolved. I realized Satan was the enemy all along. Deep sadness slipped away. The image I’d been hiding behind crumbled. I’m naked and unashamed now, able to be open with the pains of my past, though they’re not my focus anymore. The joy of the Lord is instead.

Satan has no power to destroy my peace. Because my peace is not rooted in anything earthly, it’s beyond the reach of any adversary. As far as those who’ve hurt me? I pray that they receive the same revelation of God that I’ve had. I pray for peace for them, because I know there’s only suffering in darkness, and I don’t want others to suffer anymore.

For a great story that illustrates this message perfectly, click here to check out my third novel The Truth Will Set You Free. The first chapter is available for preview. Though it’s from the point of view of a boy who found himself in difficulties, it resonates with any of us who’ve been the attention of evil motives.

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