Freedom and Grace – A Short Story
It was merely a shadow, odd in shape, and it passed just as quickly as it had formed, but the feeling it triggered was intense. Left with an odd sense of awe, Jenni turned from the train’s window and settled her gaze upon her hands. She was heading home to her small apartment after church service.
It’d been years since she’d returned to church. She thought she’d feel better about herself by now, but overall her sense of self-worth was still as low as it had been then. The shift in behavior and company hadn’t made the difference she’d expected.
What was in that shadow that caught her attention? The time she’d spent in darkness was brought to mind, but there was more. Her heart felt light for a brief moment, a sensation she’d not experienced before.
Long before, her boyfriend had left her for her closest friend, but the pain her teenaged heart experienced had led her down some dark, regretful roads. In the midst of a night of poor choices, she became vividly aware that she didn’t quite know exactly where she was, and the discomfort she felt was strong in the presence of the few other teenagers still loitering around a living room littered with snacks and empty beer cans.
Her ride had checked on her an hour earlier before disappearing upstairs. Jenni sat alone. The feeling that she wanted to cry was overwhelming. She took a deep, ragged breath and held it briefly before letting it slowly slip out. She was ready for change.
As the train bumped along, Jenni extended her fingers and looked mindlessly at her dry knuckles and unpainted nails before turning both hands over. Empty palms facing up, just as empty as her heart with nothing to offer, made her question why. What was her life for?
Just then she saw it, the same distorted shape as the shadow. There was a cross on her palm as undefined as the one cast briefly across a building the train had passed. It wasn’t a solid, upright cross like the ones at church or the one she’d hung on her apartment wall to remind her to be good.
Her thoughts began to wander in the wonder of the cross. Why had she been touched by something she saw regularly? It seemed the distortion was the trigger for her. She scrutinized the lines in her palms that more or less connected to form a cross.
Goose bumps rose on Jenni’s arms as she envisioned Jesus on this cross within her hand. His head was hanging. He was weak. He was hurt and dying. She closed her eyes to hold back the tears she felt threaten.
“Lord, what are you saying?” Jenni whispered. Though she’d heard about a “still small voice” in church, Jenni had never heard God speak to her. It seemed as though He was prodding her to understand something now.
What came next moved Jenni. She sensed God, she was sure. His presence was there with her, and these words were suddenly and strongly in her mind. “Sin and law go hand-in-hand, but freedom and grace are available to dwell in instead.”
Freedom and grace. But what of all the things I’d done? Jenni wondered. Freedom and grace. Why don’t I feel free? Am I really forgiven? She questioned. Freedom and grace were impressed on her heart even stronger.
It’s me, isn’t it? she asked. The peace that touched her in that moment was supernatural. Jenni’s thought train grew and led her on a course of healing that could only come from God. She was forgiven. God wasn’t looking at any of her past, nor at her current efforts. None were important. The value was already present in her connection with Him, but she needed to be looking at Him, rather than at herself.
The train slowed as it pulled into the station. Jenni stood and turned to face the door as all movement came to a stop. Exiting amidst the small crowd, she turned and waited. Eventually the doors closed and the train departed the station. A smile filled Jenni’s face as she imagined her error in thinking had just left with the train. She had entered it one person and stepped out completely another, saved by grace and free.
A Message For You
Thank you for reading my short story and listening to the message God put on my heart.
We Are Free!
God has saved us by His grace. Even though we are sinners, we are no longer measured by sin. We can give our imperfect lives to Him, just as they are. In order to experience the freedom of grace, we must not view ourselves or others through the lens of law anymore.
To be born again, to be a child of God, includes a freedom we can live under. Forgiveness is complete. However, when we work to try to be a better person instead of simply accepting the grace given by God, we revert to law and are measuring ourselves by it. We will never feel free if we are trying to earn something God already issued.
I pray that you turn your attention to God and accept completely the love and forgiveness He has for you.
God’s peace,
Rebecca
For more, click to listen to my message God Uses Broken People.